Don't get me wrong, I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I decided years ago to just stop that cold turkey. It becomes harder to do the more you realize that the person making all of your life choices is YOU and, by process of elimination, one can only then determine that you are choosing your path, no matter how crazy it is. When you get there, it just seems silly to feel any drama about it. Ya are what ya are - if that makes you angry, change. I'm more in the stepping back and taking a much needed moment to laugh
You may be wondering, what does a woman with three kids entering various very important phases of their lives (year 2 @college for Thing 1, Senior year for Thing 2 and Freshman year for Thing 3), two designs in the making with nearing deadlines, a class to teach at Fiber College next week, a handful of articles to write coming due, and a busy club and business to run do? The answer to that question might should have been become a ninja master at time management or, possibly, forgo and opportunity to volunteer and participate in the parent's fundraising group for her kids football team. It might have needed to be something like, 'voila, you are now functioning like a sane person!' Ha ha - none of these have happened, though I'm starting ninja time management training as we speak. Instead, I chose option 1153:
So, the last month has been prepping for the coming school year (starting very soon at a theater near me) and doing some puppy/mini horse training. It really hasn't been all that bad. Bruce is a super good puppy and lots of fun to pal around with.
Neither of the two things featured in this post were penciled in, in any way, in my to do list and upcoming project goals. I guess I just needed to veer from the path a while and remember how to fly by the seat of my pants. This was not helpful when I finally sat back down to the 'real' list and realized the impossible window was now even more impossibly narrow than before but I consider it more like spirit food. That window will likely stay impossibly narrow for a while. What makes it even possible at all is the energy we bring to it and, to get such energy, I sometimes have to take a detour and dip my toes into the pool of just plain crazy. Who am I kidding? It wasn't just a toe.